On Weakness, Strength and Success…

Posted: December 15, 2014 by dannytwoguns in Articles

I had a coaching call this past week with my coach and mentor, Alwyn Cosgrove on my next step, how to constantly improve etc and a general check in with my coach, as there is a ton going on at Twoguns Training Systems, Fit in 42 Erie, Erie Youth Conditioning and Performance and LEWIS Fitness & Performance and I needed some help and guidance from my coach to do so. It is always a powerful experience when I do. Incredibly motivating and incredibly gratifying.

The coaching calls always get me on fire and sparks productivity.

On Fire

Then the next day, I was talking to a client who takes care of everyone except herself. A great and strong woman whose life keeps throwing her curve balls and getting in the way and when I finally broke through about how “putting on your oxygen mask first” makes you infinitely more effective to take care of all your responsibilities and serving others, she said, “I just feel weak for needing this much help.”

And to that I kindly say – bullshit.

I 100% fully believe that the only people who don’t ask for help are WEAK people. No strong person does it alone – because no one is perfect at everything. Your “easy” could be my “greatly challenging” and my “no problem” could be your “impossible”. Who knows – they key is to get help, guidance and expertise from those who have been where you are and prospered and thrived through it.

I wouldn’t be where I am today without my wife, without my business partner, without my head team member/coach/trainer Dawn and I wouldn’t be here without my coach(es) and mentors who I pay thousands of dollars to for their expertise, guidance and constantly having my back and that doesn’t make me weak in any way.

I got into this business to help people and do something I was passionate about – training people. And when it grew so exponentially that I was getting tired, didn’t know how I could help more people and didn’t know the in’s and out’s of actually running a business (why didn’t we learn that in college?) – I sought out the best and hired them to help me – and it has only made me better and stronger.

And I wasn’t afraid to fail.
Nor was I afraid of “being weak”.
And I didn’t let weak and negative people hold me back.

People love to let shit that doesn’t matter hold them back when all they have to do is simple take the first step in making a change.

Since I was on an Alwyn kick after our call, I re-listened to a podcast where he was interviewed and he had a point where, when you come face to face with the “school bully” (whatever your “school bully” may be) – you have two options.

A) Do nothing and everything stays the same…
B) Punch him/her in the fucking face and then one of two things will happen – things will change in your benefit or everything stays the same.

But most of us do nothing. Why?

Ouch

It is fear and it is self-limiting belief. I probably say it at least one a month to clients that I have more faith and confidence in them than they do in themselves. And that is crap. I have more faith and confidence in myself and my abilities than anyone else except MAYBE my mom and my dad. You should too.

I truly believe that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. Because I will outwork everyone else and I will look for and find the best/the expert at what Im trying to do and ask or hire them for help.

“Nothing happens until somebody moves.”

How come people have no problem with and arent scared of things that could actually kill them like texting while you’re driving (a massive metal vehicle that is run by flammable liquid mind you) with your knees (and if you’re in Erie add snow to that mix) but we’re afraid of asking for help, afraid of potentially failing or afraid of success? Screw that.

I’ve never been afraid to ask for help or afraid of failure, those are foreign to me personally though I have worked with a lot of people who are. But one thing I was/am seldom guilty of is having a fear of success. Why? I am not 100% sure and I don’t really care why, I just acknowledge that it is there and sometimes when something is holding me back I think back to “Is this objection valid or am I holding myself back because Im scared of success?” and then reassess.

To give a personal example, one of my past hurdles that Alwyn discovered, addressed and has helped me with is that I am an expert and one of the best at what I do (and the best in my area according to him) and that my time has value and to stop doing so many things for free. This was a hard one because I come from the perspective of truly wanting to help people so I’ve done a lot for free and there is nothing wrong with giving back and doing some things for free but when you keep doing things for free, a few things happen…

The first is you run out of time and energy. But the second is you have no qualification for the people you are helping and you sometimes spend a lot of time helping the wrong people who actually end up wasting your time. The people willing to invest in themself and your expertise are exponentially more likely to implement the actual help. I remember a quote from him last winter about charging more for the New Year New You, he said – (insert Scottish accent here) “Danny you’ve spent more money on your education over this past year than any other coaching member Im aware of – and you don’t think that that expertise and investment is worth charging $50-100 extra for one of the best fat loss challenges in your area? That’s crazy.”

Knowledge Bomb

I reassessed and saw that he was right.

What self limiting belief and lies you tell yourself are holding you back from success and your goals?

The biggest predictor of future behavior and thing that influences it the most is your past behavior. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten. Is that what you want? No way. Make a change and commit to it and don’t do it because the “new year” is coming. Do it because you are ready to make a change and success doesn’t know what time of year it is. If it is improving your life and lifestyle, I can help you – because everyone needs a coach.

Hope you’ve enjoyed the read. Please leave a comment over on Facebook with your thoughts and feedback. I look forward to hearing from you.

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